Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Don't Do This 1 Thing When He Pulls Away...


You've got to read this fantastic article I just came across.

It's by Randy Bennett, a licensed relationship therapist, who has stumbled onto a special technique you can use to get your man to treat you like he did when you first started dating-- for good! Here it is below-- I hope you enjoy.

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Have you ever wondered why some men treat their women like a princess even well PAST the dating phase?

Even after many years these guys STILL buy flowers, they remember EVERY special occasion and they give their women their FULL attention when they are with them.

They NEVER retreat to the garage, NEVER ignore them to watch the football game on TV and NEVER disappear for hours on end to play golf with their "buddies".

Well recent reports from relationship scientists (yes, those do exist!) say that you can actually get that exact SAME love, attention and warmth from your man, regardless of how long you've been together or how rocky your relationship may be.

The Secret to Getting Your Man to Treat YOU Like a Princess ...

The secret to unlocking this same love and affection from your man is probably something you've never considered.

But once you know the secret, you can literally change your man and influence him to treat you better ... even like a princess.

Now before you accuse me of heresy, let me explain by asking you a question:

Is there something you or your man does that REALLY gets him going?

You know what I'm talking about ... maybe it's a word, or a certain look, maybe a flick of the hand or a shoulder shrug-- something that REALLY gets under his skin?

Whatever it is you KNOW it drives him batty and the result is typically the same.

Within milliseconds, his face turns the color of a boiled lobster; his heart practically leaps out of his chest and he either explodes with rage, he runs away to the garage and you don't see him for hours, or he just sits there...stone-faced, not saying a word.

WHAT just happened?

His Brain Was Just Hijacked ...

Familiar with the fight or flight response? Well, you just witnessed it and it's the reason why a simple argument can turn into an all-out war.

Every one of us has a little internal guard on duty 24/7 in our brain. It's called the amygdala and it's a small walnut-sized part of your brain responsible for alerting the body to danger.

The amygdala processes incoming information and automatically searches your memory bank to determine if it recognizes the information as friend or foe.

All of this happens instantly, and if the brain has memory of that word or action and the memory is bad ... the body goes into an automatic negative response over which you have almost NO control.

It's called neural hijacking and it literally stops love, warmth and intimacy from being able to enter the relationship.

And this automatic negative response is triggered by those little shoulder shrugs, those eye rolls ... and anything else you may do that has conditioned your man to react negatively.

And once this happens, it's game over-- your man won't listen to ANYTHING you say after this and you'll both go round and round with finger-pointing, name-calling and laying blame on each other.

How to Eliminate these Triggers and Establish a Deep Emotional Connection ...

The good news is that you can uncover what these triggers are (for BOTH of you) and set the stage for both of you to plant, nurture and harvest new feelings of love and intimacy.

Here's exactly what you do:

First, think of a few actions you know set him off. Be specific. You know what they are, if you dig deep enough-- you use a "tone," you make a face, you have a specific phrase you say when discussing a touchy subject, whatever.

And when you use any of these things, you get a negative response out of him. Write those down now and remember them.

Second, go straight to the source: ask him what you do that sets off his emotional firebombs. But don't get defensive ... let him have his say ... just listen.

He may feel reluctant at first to share, or maybe he's not even aware that there might be something specific linked to his going off. Regardless, after you begin compiling your list here is what you do ...

Avoid those words or actions at ALL COSTS.

It's as simple as that.

Unless you really want to end up a divorce statistic or you really enjoy sifting through dating sites, avoid doing those behaviors or saying those words that cause problems in your relationship.

Once these are gone ... your partner won't have those mental blocks or love filters, and you'll have a much easier time building intimacy and affection again.

This really works and I've been using this tip and several others for 25 years, teaching it to every woman who comes to me wanting to know how to melt her man's heart ... and in return, have her man treat her like he did when they first started dating-- like a princess!

I wish you the best.

Randall E. Bennett, MA, LMFT, LCPC

P.S. Due to the overwhelming response I've received about these relationship triggers that can cause a good relationship to go bad, I recently put together a video that explains in much more detail exactly how you can eliminate them to develop a deep emotional connection with your man.

Get Info Here !!!

Nobody really talks about this technique and it's a shame, because it's extremely powerful and works in almost any situation.

It's something you MUST know if you want to understand exactly what your man REALLY wants, what makes him tick, and how to get him to shower you with the love, care and affection that you deserve ... not because you are forcing him to do it, but because he actually WANTS to do it.

So, sit back, relax and go watch my video as I am not sure how much longer I will have it up.

More Info Here !!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

How To Be Affectionate With The One You Love

Falling out of love can happen to all couples regardless of how strong their relationship was. In order to recover the magic, you need to learn how to be affectionate with the one you love. There are different ways of learning. You can ask an older man in a successful relationship for some advice. You could talk to your friends but do yourself a favor and only listen to the ones that are happily involved. The others are single for a reason. Or you could buy a great book, read it and put the theory into practice. Women are often complex creatures but the majority just love it when you show affection. Now I mean real affection and not just a pre sex hug. Sex is a different animal to men and women. In a committed relationship, women often use sex to show affection and appreciation whereas men are less likely to think that deeply about it. They may just care whether it is any good or not or if it is even available. If a woman is hurt or upset you can usually gauge it from the warmth of the response she shows to your advances. If she usually initiates making love but hasn't, you can bet a dollar there is something wrong. It may not be your fault but she may be holding you responsible anyway. If you read any decent book giving advice on relationships, you will know that one way to get more sex is to do more around the house and not leave everything to your other half. Another way is to show her affection when she least expects it. Hold her hand while on a walk, carry her shopping, collect her from work if it is raining or buy her flowers even though it isn't her birthday or your anniversary. Arrange to spend time together doing something that the two of you love. Most romantic partnerships don't break down because of affairs or other huge events but because the little things are missing. If you feel that you are drifting apart, get some help and advice on how to put everything back on course. Don't ignore the signs of unhappiness hoping they will go away. Women can easily feel ignored and taken for granted and you may only be distracted by your job or financial situation. She may feel that you must have another woman in your life as you aren't interested in her any more. Or perhaps she is feeling used. Be honest, is the only time you show her affection those nights when you are hoping sex is on the menu? So how do you get the love back into your relationship? There are many ways but perhaps one you could try is to pretend you are dating again. How did you treat your partner when you just met? She is still with you, for now anyway, so you must have done something right. You need to find out now how to be affectionate with your with the one you love or you just might find someone else has been!

Monday, September 27, 2010

5 Questions To Ask In Serious Boyfriend-Girlfriend Relationships

There are plenty of different types of relationships in the world of dating. There are some relationships that are only about sexual relations and intimacy. There are other relationships that are simply for fun, bringing together friends as a way to enjoy time together. Finally, there are serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationships that could easily turn into something special.

It is important for both parties to be open and honest in these serious relationships. If you find that you are in a serious relationship, you need to ask your significant other a few questions.

What Are Your Goals?

If your relationship is starting to get serious, you need to talk about goals. You need to ask your boyfriend about his various goals to understand where you fit in with his life. By talking about his goals, you can work to help him to reach those goals. Try to talk about your own goals as well; this mutual understanding can help to make your relationship stronger.

Am I In Your Future?

If you are in a long and serious relationship, you may have questions about the future. While it may be risky to do so, ask your boyfriend about the future. Ask him if he can see you in his future plans. His answers may help you to better understand the status of your relationship.

What Do You Think About Kids?

As relationships go on, feelings get stronger. You need to make sure that you and your boyfriend are on the same page before you get too emotionally vested. If you want to have kids, talk to him about it. While you are not saying that you want kids right away, you are letting him know that you see kids in your future. If you are on a different page, as far as kids are concerned, you may rethink your relationship.

What Do You Think About Marriage ?

The same can be said for marriage; talk to your boyfriend about his thoughts on marriage. If he says that he never wants to get married, the relationship may not work out for you. You simply need to understand that your feelings on marriage in general are the same.
The Four Seasons of Marriage

How Serious Are We?

There is nothing wrong with asking your boyfriend about the seriousness of your relationship. Ask him about the seriousness of your relationship. He may surprise you by telling you that he is more serious that you anticipated. He may also be less serious about your relationship, causing you to question the relationship as a whole.

These are just a few of the questions that you should ask in serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. These questions will help you to have a better understanding of one another; a crucial step in the overall process of a serious relationship. These various questions will help you to understand exactly how serious your relationship is.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Will She Love Me Again

Will she love me again? This is a question that pops up over and over again in the minds of men who are in a loveless relationship or who have just lost the woman they love. Whatever the situation, this can leave you feeling lost, depressed or hopeless. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are many who've been able to answer "yes" the question of "will she love me again?" and you may be able to do it as well.

Your first step involves thoroughly accessing the situation. Understand the point you are at in the relationship or the end of the relationship. Has your wife told you that she doesn't love you anymore, or do you just feel that way? Has your wife even gone so far as to say that she never wants to see you again? There is a big difference between her not loving you and her hating you (if that is the case). You need to understand the real situation before you can proceed in remedying it.

But, in most cases, before you can go on, you'll need to allow her the space she needs. Even if she hasn't told you that she doesn't love you anymore, her behavior has lead you to question her love. So, rather than pestering her or constantly bringing it up, let her have the time to figure it out.

Obviously, if she has told you to leave her alone, then you know you should be giving her space anyway. At this point, you should clear her from your mind. Stop putting all the focus on how to get her back. Dwelling or obsessing on it is not going to do anything.

Now you need to keep yourself busy with other things, mainly yourself. In this extra time that you now have, start doing some things that you enjoy but never had time to do before (or maybe she didn't like or agree with these things). Also, make sure that you are taking good care of yourself. This will serve when your "distance time" is up and you are ready to approach her again.

You want to transform yourself into an attractive, self-confident, loving, strong person. This means eating the right kinds of foods (and shedding those extra pounds), not drinking too much or giving into some kind of behavior that shows her you've fallen apart without her, getting enough sleep and having some fun. This time off serves both you and her.

It gives her the time she needs to think and to actually see if she misses you when you aren't there, and it gives you the chance to prove to yourself that you can do just fine without her. It might feel like the world is about to end in the beginning, but you'll soon find that you no longer feel that way. This will put you in a good position when and if you decide to go back and try once again with her. And then you too can answer "yes" to the question of "Will she love me again?"

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Warning Signs Of A Break Up What You Need To Do NOW

If you see warning signs of a break up you need to act quickly to avoid splitting up. It is a lot easier to prevent a split then to try to reconcile after the event.

So what should you be looking out for? The obvious one is if you are both always arguing. I believe it is healthy for couples to argue occasionally as making up is fun! But when you just fight and don’t make friends, you are on dangerous ground.

Perhaps worse is when you have gone past the stage of fighting and now just ignore one another. There is nothing lonelier than sharing a double bed with someone and having enough room to drive a huge bus between you. Some of the loneliest people are those that are in a broken relationship.

Another sign you could look for is whether your partner prefers to spend time with other people. Now don’t get paranoid on me. No matter how much they love you, we all need some time out with our own friends. It is when your partner is spending more time with the other people, than with you and your family, that you need to worry.

If you see any signs of trouble, you cannot ignore them, but you need to deal with it now. Before you tackle your partner, you need to first decide what you want. Do you see a future with this person? If you do then you need to fight for your happiness; but in a very nice way. Shouting matches or physical violence are not the way forward.

If you have children arrange for a friend to mind them. Ask your other half out for the evening. If you go to a public place like a restaurant, the conversation is less likely to descend into an argument.

Don’t jump into the chat by flinging accusations or telling your spouse how let down/ignored/unhappy you feel. You will only put them on the defensive and that will lead to an argument. Instead, ask them how they are feeling. Are they happy with the current situation? Is there anything they feel could be improved?

Listen to what they say and try to stay calm and non judgemental. It is not going to be easy and you may have to listen to some uncomfortable stuff. But you want your relationship to work out don’t you.

You may not be able to resolve your issues in one evening, however, it could be all it takes to start the process of getting your relationship back on track. There is a solution for every problem and you just need time to find yours. In the meantime, you need to reassure each other that you share a mutual bond of love and respect and that is worth fighting for.

Acknowledging the warning signs of a break up and taking action is the first step on the road to recovery. If you both want it, you can save your relationship and live happily ever after.